


do all my friends hate me? or do i need to go to sleep?

by dirtierwork



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, M/M, Multi, Texting, and maki loves knife, chat fic, college kids like ikea, i bully ouma to show him my love, im sorry, more tags to be added as i go!, this is my first fic let's hope i finish it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 03:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15854946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtierwork/pseuds/dirtierwork
Summary: Jesus Dick: hey just so y’all know murder is actually a sin! sadly!bobs and vagene: JCNDJJFJDJFJ SADLYdespacito 4: ah fuck it's a sin??? D’:kork: ouma, your existence itself is a sinor a college au focused on the v3 kids





	do all my friends hate me? or do i need to go to sleep?

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to hell!  
> for caspar uwu

**Ultimate Lesbian** added 15 others to the chat

**Ultimate Lesbian** named the chat _Thot Patrol_

 

**Ultimate Lesbian** : is this everyone shuichi??????

**twink** : i think so !!!

**despacito 4** : owo whats this

**bonkhonagahoogs** : your own pain and suffering

**bastart** : fantastic

**deBression** : fuckisnh g   o o d

**bobs and vagene** : hey,,,,,..... r u guys ok

**straight passing** : sometimes. I Worry.

**Ultimate Lesbian** : anyway whats up hoes heres a chat for us

**despacito 4** : can i be an admin

**gnarly space ingredients** : absolutely NOt

**twink** : sorry ouma but uhh no

**despacito 4** : D:

**Twink 2.0** : what;s up whores i may have just fuckidmg burned my mac n cheese

**robot kink** : ITWAS a mICROWAVECUp

**Twink 2.0** : yep and uhhhh the microwave was on fire.

**Twink 2.0** : imagine me, crying, hiting a burning microvwaeve with a towel

**disaster gay** : ok but is ths mac n cheese ok

**kork** : Himiko… he burned it…

**disaster gay** : so no????

**straight passing** : rantarou who’s your roommate

**Twink 2.0** : gonta, ryoma, n shuichi

**Twink 2.0** : theyre not home, if u cant tell

**gnarly space ingredients** : dude why don’t u buy a fire extinguisher

**Twink 2.0** : im broke

**bastart** : lmao mood

**straight passing** : fucjdincduysvgreush

**straight passing** : I Am Buying You One

**robot kink** : kirumi i owe u my entire life

**weeb** : shes dragging me to the car but she says “none of my fucking kids will die on my watch”

**kork** : where were you guys?

**weeb** : oh we didn’t have class so kirumi took me on a date!!

**weeb** : now we’re off to the store to go buy a fire extinguisher for rantarou so he doesn’t die!!

**bobs and vagene** : BRB CRYUDBG

**bobs and vagene** : TSUMUGI AND KIRUMI ARE THECUTEST

**disaster gay** : what about us ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

**Bastart** : your dates are stealing my fucking doritos and napping on the couch

**disaster gay** : A.   N d??

**twink** : so,,, is our microwave dead too

**Twink 2.0** : yeah

**twink** : @bee movie @deBression u wanna go to ikea

**bee movie** : yes !!! gonta loves ikea

**deBression** : maybe i’ll get lost there n Die

**Twink 2.0** : or not???????????

**Ultimate Lesbian** : im coming too

**Ultimate Lesbian** : i’ll drive

**despacito 4** : i heard we’re going somewhere

**twink** : please no

**Twink 2.0** : no

**deBression** : n o

**Ultimate Lesbian** : unless u wanna sit on someone’s lap !

**despacito 4** : ;))))))

**twink** : fine ok

**Twink 2.0** : he’s going in the trunk tho

**Bastart** : strap him to the roof

**Jesus Dick** : hey just so y’all know murder is actually a sin! sadly!

**bobs and vagene** : JCNDJJFJDJFJ SADLY

**despacito 4** : ah fuck it's a sin??? D’:

**kork** : ouma, your existence itself is a sin

**twink** : OHMYDHJDIFF C

**Twink 2.0** : HOLY FUCKINDHX

**gnarly space ingredients** : DID KIYO FUKCJDNH

**despacito 4** : hey mom i’m being Cyberbullied

**twink** : it’s ok it’s out of love

**despacito** : awwwwww my darling u love me

**bonkhonagahoogs** : wait y’all are going to ikea

**bonkhonagahoogs** : sorry i was masturbating lmao

**Ultimate Lesbian** : MIU STOP IT

**bonkhonagahoogs** : i could just fix it

**deBression** : name ur price

**bonkhonagahoogs** : 500

**Twink 2.0** : no thanks!

**robot kink** : miu he cant even buy a fuckcknga fire extinguisher

**bonkhonagahoogs** : then P.  e r i s. h

**bonkhonagahoogs** : i need. Cash.

**Twink 2.0** : I DO TOO

**Ultimate Lesbian** : i think we’re all broke

**bobs and vagene** : LNAO YEAH

**despacito 4** : idk about you guys but i’m excited for ikea

**despacito 4** : thanks rantarou for almost dying

**Twink 2.0** : oh it’s my pleasure

**Ultimate Lesbian** : how about we head out tomorrow @ 9 before our classes????? i’ll pick u guys up !!

**deBression** : who the FUCK wakes up at nine am

**robot kink** : a lot of people???

**Bastart** : Sounds Fake.

**weeb** : i wake up at 8:30 usually every day, but i have a 10 am most days riP

**deBression** : tsumugi,,, what the shit…

**disaster gay** : i barely wake up in time for my classes wh

**twink** : i can do 9 @Ultimate Lesbian

**bee movie** : gonta… does not have a class until 1 tomorrow!!! that is fine!!

**deBression** : U.  G. HHHH

**Twink 2.0** : lmao yeah but we’re getting starbucks

**bonkhonagahoogs** : you live up to your fucking username you goddamn twink ass bitch

**despacito** 4: owo my two classes that day aren’t until 3 and 7 so we’re ok

**Ultimate Lesbian** : OH WE MADE PLANS FOR ONCE

**bobs and vagene** : have fun y’all!!!

**bobs and vagene** : OH IF YOU COULD PICK UP A NEW SET OF KITCHEN KNIVES FOR OUR APARTMENT ILL PAY YOU BACK

**Ultimate Lesbian** : yeah ofc!!

**twink** : what happened ??

**straight passing** : maki was throwing knives for fun and now they’re not useable anymore

**despacito 4** : W H A T

**Bastart** : i wanted to practice throwing knives andi didn’t haveany throwing knives so i just used our kitchen ones but i didn’t realize that it was bad

**Bastart** : kirumi got mad at me rip

**bobs and vagene** : maki i love you so much but why did you wanna practice throwing knives

**Bastart** : why not

**Bastart** : it’s an important skill

**gnarly space ingredients** : maki

**gnarly space ingredients** : can you list your priorities to me

**Bastart** : i guess

**Bastart** : 1. being able to kill a man

**Bastart** : 2. loving my friends

**Bastart** : 3. passing college

**Bastart** : 4. everything else

**despacito** **4** : aw maki loves us!!!!!

**Bastart** : shut the fuck up you ugly ass gremlin bitch i will cut your throat if needed do Not test me

**disaster gay** : that sounds like maki

**bobs and vagene** : love u maki!!!

**Bastart** : ♡

**Ultimate Lesbian** : maki,, ur so good,..

**gnarly space ingredients** : can kaede not be gay for 1 second? Never

**Ultimate Lesbian** : shut up u dumb top

**Ultimate Lesbian** : this isn’t being gay this is me Respecting Women

**twink** : OPPRESS HIM

**GgGirls** has added 4 others to the chat

**GgGirls** has named the chat _Ikea Bitches_

**GgGirls** : hey we need to get rantarou a present

**mothman** : gonta thinks kaede has a really good point!!

**grap** : ok but consider this

**grap** : you cant get dildos at ikea

**nya** : WE ARE NOT GETTING RANTAROU A GOD DAMN DILDO YOU HEATHEN

**GgGirls** : his birthday is in a week and a half he needs a GIFT

**mcr stan** : he needs a desk for his room

**mcr stan** : he writes all his papers on our coffee table

**GgGirls** : THANKS SHUICHI FOR BEING THE BEST LIKE ALWAYS

**mcr stan** : ok so tomorrow at 9 am we head out to ikea for a microwave, new desk, and… kitchen knives??

**GgGirls** : can ouma and shuichi,, get the desk

**grap** : OF COURse

**mcr stan** : oooo boy ok

**grap** : quality bonding w my darling detective in training <3333

**mcr stan** : is it valid to be afraid rn

**nya** : very valid

**GgGirls** : So Valid

**GgGirls** : ouma we love you it’s just…. we fear for shuichi’s patience

**mcr stan** : nah i think we’ll be fine

**grap** : owo what’s this

**mcr stan** : nvm

**Author's Note:**

> chat names in main chat  
> Kaede: Ultimate Lesbian  
> Shuichi: twink  
> Kaito: gnarly space ingredients  
> Maki: Bastart  
> Oma: despacito 4  
> Miu: bonkhonagahoogs  
> Tenko: bobs and vagene  
> Himiko: disaster gay  
> Rantarou: twink 2.0  
> Kiibo: robot kink  
> Gonta: bee movie  
> Tsumugi: weeb  
> Kirumi: straight passing  
> Ryoma: debression  
> Korekiyo: kork  
> Angie: Jesus Dick
> 
>  
> 
> ikea chat  
> Kaede: GgGirls  
> Shuichi: mcr stan  
> Gonta: mothman  
> Ryoma: nya  
> Ouma: grap
> 
>  
> 
> if you wanna contact me:  
> tumblr & twt: dirtierwork  
> insta: ver.kwans  
> anything else: just ask!!


End file.
